John Bauschatz

Associate Professor

A few years ago, a web designer for one of my D2L course sites entered some filler text in the "instructor bio" window that was surprisingly accurate: "Powder jelly sesame snaps cake biscuit brownie carrot cake jelly toffee. Dessert dragée brownie cake pie gummi bears. Cookie muffin sweet roll powder. Cupcake cake brownie tart. Lemon drops macaroon lollipop biscuit topping chocolate marshmallow danish marzipan. Cupcake danish pastry danish carrot cake. Cupcake tart pastry. Soufflé apple pie oat cake cheesecake danish brownie halvah halvah. Tiramisu brownie jelly cupcake jelly pie tootsie roll croissant. Pie gummi bears candy wafer marzipan wafer jelly cake. Chupa chups lemon drops bear claw danish tart marshmallow gingerbread jelly-o caramels. Chocolate cake donut sweet chocolate bar croissant. Tiramisu gummi bears sweet roll." I mean, what could I possibly add?

Well, OK, I guess there are a couple of other things you could know about me. I have been at the UA for twelve years now, and have taught a number of History, Classics and Greek courses in that time. I also like puns, even when they don't like me back.